Saturday, March 28, 2009

If I were 50 feet tall

The wife's work had a movie Saturday. They paid for the whole company to see Monsters vs Aliens. I really enjoyed the movie. One of the main characters is a super tall woman. In the movie she's leaping around and running from rooftop to rooftop (it's more like 1 rooftop, skip 3...).



I got thinking as I was running my 10 miles today what it would be like to be that tall and run. How fast would 1 mile be. I decided there would definitely be pros and cons to it. Here are my pros..feel free to add to this list.

• The pro being my one step would be like 20 other people steps..definitely a pro.
• I could easily squash that 19-20 year old kid that kicks everyones butts at the 5 and 10k races...definitely a pro.
• I wouldn't have to train near as hard as I am to run the lengths I do now...major pro.
• Completing the races way fast and getting the cool prizes...another cool pro.
• When I wasn't racing, I could fight aliens.
• Sponsors!! Hello, running billboard, i'd be better than NASCAR

There are some cons too.
• Avoiding electrical wires would be a pain. I would have to make sure my races were in non-electrical wire areas.
• The cost of having sufficient GU on hand to make it through a race. I'd have to get them specially made. If I got someone to sponsor me, then it would be ok...so maybe not really a con either.
• The amount of pasta I would have to consume before races...but maybe not as much since I can run faster than everyone...even you, you snotting little 19 year old...yeah, you know who you are...
• They'd probably disqualify me after a few races or make me run twice as far. If they did that though, I could file a lawsuit claiming discrimination to tall people so that isn't really a con.
• If I got in trouble for squashing the 19 year old kid. If the judge is a runner though, then I would have a chance. Maybe I could get an all running jury...like they'd ever convict me. They'd probably give me the key to the city.

So there are a lot of cons, but I think the pros would take over and i would win. Since I am not 50 feet tall and can't squash that 19 year old, I guess i'll have to revert to the old fashion way...tripping.

On another note, I got out and ran 11 miles today. I was scheduled to only run 10, but I ran past my turn and didn't realize it until I was in a new subdivision. Of course I couldn't make it appear that I was a runner lost, I casually ran through the area and did a classic "I meant to do this" turn around maneuver. It worked like a charm. If I were 50 feet tall I wouldn't have this problem because two steps and I'd be back. Imagine the really cool footprints i'd leave in the snow or dirt too.

2 comments:

  1. "I meant to do the maneuver." Nice... Love the pros and cons! You are so funny....

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