Friday, August 7, 2009

Jillian've ruined my day

I'm a fringe nutritional eater. I'm neither extremely nuts when it comes to my nutrition nor am I completely on the couch potato, eat everything in sight eater. Thanks to Jillian Michaels book on Metabolism I am being pushed into the extremely nuts category.
It all started earlier in the week during an innocent trip to Costco. We stopped by to pick up some a few items and turn over the paycheck to them (like I've ever been able to leave Costco without spending less than $100...) as usual. We passed by the DVD and book section and the next thing I know my wife is putting in the Jillian Michaels book. I should have instantly recognized the impending doom to my nutritional standards. I felt a twinge in the stomach area, a dryness in the mouth and a craving for a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I would have been able to distinguish this sensation, but I was too distracted by the samples of chicken enchiladas that they had out.
Last night that all came to a screeching halt. I was innocently reading a book when my wife sat down next to me and started reading passages from the book. She sat in front of me so there was no way I could escape. I knew I was doomed. The next thing I know she is telling me about all the rotten awful horrible things in food. I followed along and silently prayed that maybe, just maybe a meteor would strike and we would have to leave the scene and this book would be consumed. Alas, no meteor. Instead, she got one of the kids to bring down the box of Corn Flakes so she could show me the many evils contained in that box. Yep, I'm doomed.
This morning as I took out the trash, she brought the almost full box of Corn Flakes and threw them away. There is no stopping this boulder now. I'll be checking for labels that contain words like "High Fructose Corn Syrup" and "Partially Hydrogenated" and "BHT"....the list is endless. Jillian've ruined my day.
It couldn't come at a worse time either. We're heading to the county fair tonight. I was looking forward to tasting the deep fried twinkie or even the deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Instead, I'll probably end up with a wheat grass smoothie.

And my socks still haven't come......


  1. Let me give you a new mantra, my son: "This, too, shall pass."

    I can't tell you how many times I have seen someone read a book and get all up in arms about the "poisons" they've been putting into their bodies, and completely change their diets. But then a little time goes by, and they find that they do not really feel any better, and start missing some of the stuff they've given up, and eventually the fanaticism burns itself out. It has been my observation, through more years than I normally care to remember, that as a general rule, we can eat whatever we want, so long as we do it in moderation. So, if you like, c'mon down hyar in October, and we'll head on out to the Texas State Fair, and have us a gen-yew-ine State Fair Corny Dog, or deep-fried Snickers, or funnel cake. But in keeping with our philosophy of moderation, probably not all three.

  2. "... a craving for a pint of Ben & Jerry's." HA!

  3. Jillian Michaels is just plain scary.