Saturday, March 28, 2009

If I were 50 feet tall

The wife's work had a movie Saturday. They paid for the whole company to see Monsters vs Aliens. I really enjoyed the movie. One of the main characters is a super tall woman. In the movie she's leaping around and running from rooftop to rooftop (it's more like 1 rooftop, skip 3...).

I got thinking as I was running my 10 miles today what it would be like to be that tall and run. How fast would 1 mile be. I decided there would definitely be pros and cons to it. Here are my pros..feel free to add to this list.

• The pro being my one step would be like 20 other people steps..definitely a pro.
• I could easily squash that 19-20 year old kid that kicks everyones butts at the 5 and 10k races...definitely a pro.
• I wouldn't have to train near as hard as I am to run the lengths I do now...major pro.
• Completing the races way fast and getting the cool prizes...another cool pro.
• When I wasn't racing, I could fight aliens.
• Sponsors!! Hello, running billboard, i'd be better than NASCAR

There are some cons too.
• Avoiding electrical wires would be a pain. I would have to make sure my races were in non-electrical wire areas.
• The cost of having sufficient GU on hand to make it through a race. I'd have to get them specially made. If I got someone to sponsor me, then it would be maybe not really a con either.
• The amount of pasta I would have to consume before races...but maybe not as much since I can run faster than everyone...even you, you snotting little 19 year old...yeah, you know who you are...
• They'd probably disqualify me after a few races or make me run twice as far. If they did that though, I could file a lawsuit claiming discrimination to tall people so that isn't really a con.
• If I got in trouble for squashing the 19 year old kid. If the judge is a runner though, then I would have a chance. Maybe I could get an all running they'd ever convict me. They'd probably give me the key to the city.

So there are a lot of cons, but I think the pros would take over and i would win. Since I am not 50 feet tall and can't squash that 19 year old, I guess i'll have to revert to the old fashion way...tripping.

On another note, I got out and ran 11 miles today. I was scheduled to only run 10, but I ran past my turn and didn't realize it until I was in a new subdivision. Of course I couldn't make it appear that I was a runner lost, I casually ran through the area and did a classic "I meant to do this" turn around maneuver. It worked like a charm. If I were 50 feet tall I wouldn't have this problem because two steps and I'd be back. Imagine the really cool footprints i'd leave in the snow or dirt too.


  1. "I meant to do the maneuver." Nice... Love the pros and cons! You are so funny....